i really wanna write

but i don't know what to write.

bout my life?

hey, everybody got their own life, their own problems

why the hell should they spend time on front of their pc's to read mine?

no logical explanation.

then?

what should i write?

about my hatred towards this world?

nahh..

i'm trying to look the glass as half full

not half empty, you dummy! ;P

but seriously

i need a vacation

i'm dying to have one.

i'm crazy in fact bout going to new places.

too bad

i'm not granted with such luck

that allows me to travel wherever i want to =(

so there it goes

i'm stuck at home

nahh..

i'm going out, not to worry bout that

but where you might ask?

mall!

doing my second favorite thing

MOVIES!! =X

unfortunately

yeah, i can spare rm12 (and below =D) for them [per day]

but do the math

i'm gonna spend like.. rm84!! =O

err.. rethink!!

shoot

what am i gonna do?

i love to go out

hanging out

why should i even bother stay at home?

my closest sis in her college

my eldest sis in her work

and my mom is working too

so there you have it

i'm alone

oh well

as long as i know

that i didn't do anything bad while i'm out

it's fine with me

hey! stop dreaming la!

i got tutorial's questions to finish.

oh well, a girl can dream. right? ;)

sincerely,

me.

please read here before proceed

i just came across this post from incik super cool :D

weyh weyh

i've heard that story once

for those who didn't read it or can't find it

[somehow, i can't open the blog anymore. u shut it down ke incik super cool?]

it is basically a beautiful (yet throat itching mellow kinda) story

about expressing your feeling towards the one you like, love

hurm

i am in that position, unfortunately =(

but seriously

even when you had given such example

where the girl died because of brain tumor

hell

gives us any bullshit on how the girl died

still

a girl is a girl

to tell a man u love or like him

is highly unlikely

ever heard of "perigi cari timba?"

or literally "well find bucket?"

i don't know about the whole population of the girl

perception about this

but for me

a normal

sane

not so perky girl

i really don't know how to do this

(okay okay. i admit. i've tried twice. but not literally say i love you la. just a hint here and there :D)

apparently

girls these days are too hot (unlike me. hahaha :D)

and unfortunate enough for the boys

for those who got 'the looks'

and 'the charm'

they will make the first move

whilst

the rest of the population or i might as well said 'species'

who don't have 'the looks' and 'the charm'

and apparently don't bestowed with such courage

blame yourself!

you missed the chance dude

haha >:)

c'mon now

for me

as a girl

when you were born as a boy

and given a penis

you are also given

the guts

and 'the privilege'

to make the first move

bear in mind

huh. enough blabbering.

ttfn.

dr. love,

me.

am i a bad person when i don't feel like crying

when listening to sad stories

about a very pitiful

and a very unfortunate family

whose the son of the family (which currently studying in polytechnic)

have to drink only tap water

because he didn't have any water heater

whose son

did not eat for almost 2 days

just because he couldn't afford to buy a meal

to feed himself

whose son

have to wait for PTPTN allowance

that will only be given on March

when it is months away

and the mother

have to borrow rm700 from her friends

to support his son necessities

in the polytechnic

and to make the matters worse

when he got the PTPTN later

he have to pay the rm700

to his mother's friends back

whose son

are required to leave the lecture

just because he didn't have the text book; (well, he couldn't afford it)

by the mean lecturer

am i evil

for not feeling sad at the stories of the boy and his family?

try to walk in my shoes

when your mom is the one who told you this story

which she listens

from your potential

and possibly your mom's future husband..

and the boy on the above stories

is the brother of your mom's future husband.

'sick',

me.

i have talked about growing up for about 3 times this week

and this is not good. seriously

i don't really think about growing up when i'm in high school

everyday was a gift for me and everything seems great

though i may not be the most popular girl in school

and the prettiest

but thankfully

i got friends

gangs i must say

that stick together through thick and thin

duh~

what am i talking about?

this is not some kind of disney movies

this is the real life for Allah's sake!

snap out of it!

back to the main topic okay boys and girls

i don't know why i must envy those grown up girls

their life seems boring enough

but they somehow manage to makes me envy

why?

because..

they can buy anything they want

they don't have to think about how many ringgits they have in their purses

or worrying sickly about their pointer and how they perform on the last semester

or even thinking about what did the boys think when they did something silly on the last class

and not to mention

they able to go out and come home late

every night

without mom waiting and calling you every 5 minutes and ready to explode and give you a piece of her mind

haihh..

growing up IS tough

don't blame me =D

sincerely,

dummy.

i wonder why

most of my friends are the rich one..

damn!

why can't they be someone normal

with the same status

same kind of house

so i won't felt left out when i'm around them

but NOOOO!!

everyone is the son and daughter of a very successful engineer, pilot and bla bla bla

well then

maybe i'm just jealous with them

maybe

shit!

I SAIDDDDD MAYBE!!

fine!

ok!

i am jealous

well.

who wouldn't?

especially when you're someone who:

-really loves to travel! <3<3<3>

-crazy about gadgets and sneakers and backpacks!

and to make the matters worse

your friends

happen to be

someone who:

-heavy butt (literally, bontot berat. susah nak bawak berjalan. =p=p)

-prefer to spend their money on buying the MOST EXPENSIVE beauty products (janji dapat cuci muke dah laa =p)

what a waste..

ok. enough with this crap.

footnote: i'm truly am sorry if i had offend anyone by the previous post.. errr... and any other post too. sorry with the bad words.

yesterday might have make me smile

but yesterday also makes one of my friend cry

girl

i couldn't say much

both of you are my friends

i can't possibly be bias when you both want my opinion..

just bear in mind

life is something we need to appreciate

and to end your life

for one boy

that might not necessarily be your husband

well

for me

it's just plain stupid..

boy

i don't know much about your side

but i think

i could understand what hinder you

from introducing her to your parents

and i must say

i'm on your side bout this one

i don't know what happen now

i just hope

both of you will end up well.. =(

i'm officially gave up on love..

the one that wants me, had gave up, and i don't blame him

i'm the one to blame

i had break the promise i made to myself

i tried to create a 'new' him

i want him to play football

play the guitar

oh well

he did play football

and guitar for god's sake!

but it's not his passion..

the one i chase

i don't even know what's his status

or considering the fact

whether he had someone else in his heart

err..

i always wish his heart is mine

stupid!

=_="

i had lower down my ego

which is sooooo not me!

i do feel stupid right now.

well, i made a new vow

to forget and to stop making moves

ah

whatever

'cause by now

i had gave up on love!

for good..

sincerely,

me.